The Last Blackface, Ed Morales
I see Al Pacino fake Latino on the screen
And I scream That’s not me!
If Hollywood would only wake up
And break the Anglo monopoly
On portraying mi gente as generic,
Semi-European honorary Italians
I might overlook the I-like-to-be-in-A-mer-reek-a
last Minstrel Picture Show
Now playing at a theater near me
Armand Assante fue muy galante
Como rey mambo
But I know his ass was nothing near
A devera rice-and-beans eatin’
Pachanga congero with his heart in Spanish Harlem
Panama hat wearin’ peg pants billowin’
Pendejito bonito he was supposed to be
You know Carlito’s mujercita could only be a gringita
And Tony Montana es-Scarface de Cuba
Was chingando Michelle Pfeiffer, tu sabes?
I mean, lets be real—
What if Spike Lee cast Michelle Griffith
As Nola Darling
With Tom Hanks at his knees
Saying please baby please baby please?
What if Winona Ryder and Julia Roberts
Slanted their eyes, put on yellow dye
And made like their sisters in The Joy Luck Club?
What if Spielberg made a movie about the Holocaust
And centered it around a Christian man
Oh, sorry, he did do that
The point is, as long as you got your tanning machine
Work on your accent, you can fake Latino
Our stories are so universal
You can sell the idea of Jeremy Irons
And Glenn Close as aristocratic Hispanics
To Universal
Or Tri-Star
Or Paramount
Or Warner Hermanos
The last blackface,
Al Jolson singing
Mamacita, donde esta Santa Claus
Is a disgrace
How can we pay $9.50
While they deny us our history?
